


To Marriages And Family

by Tat



Series: Rae's series [4]
Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: M/M, Prequel, Secret Santa Story, preslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-13
Updated: 2011-05-13
Packaged: 2017-10-19 08:08:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/198727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tat/pseuds/Tat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel in Christmas/Rae series.<br/>The first mental shift in their relationship from Starsky's pov</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Marriages And Family

**Author's Note:**

> For Angel  
> Secret Santa 2010  
> Betaed by the amazing Kuonji, the faster beta in the Whole Wide World

To Marriages And Family

By Tat

The noise made Starsky suspect that his partner was agitated the moment he set foot in his apartment. He was early and had opened the door with his own keys expecting that Hutch would be still on his run.

Indeed, Hutch was in his kitchen, fixing his disgusting shake. To a careless observer he would have looked like his usual collected self, but Starsky knew him too well not to notice the tension in his arms and the total absence of his morning cheer to be fooled.

He tried for casual.

“Morning, pal.”

His suspicions were founded when Hutch didn’t spare him a glance and just answered.

“You are too early.”

Uh-uh, someone was mighty pissed.

“Hey Hutch, what crawled up your ass and died?” he questioned.

“Nothing.” Hutch snapped too fast and Starsky persisted by looking at him gently.

Finally, after a moment or so, Hutch relented. “My baby sister is getting married.”

Starsky let out a relieved sigh. That was all? “Kath, that’s wonderful!”

Hutch’s sour expression was indication enough that it was anything but.

“What’s wrong buddy?”

“She is pregnant.” Hutch all but spat.

Starsky could understand his friend’s feelings on the matter but not completely.

“Hutch, she is a big girl, she knows her own mind. If she didn’t want the child she wouldn’t keep it, I know her, remember… She isn’t going to be forced like you were with Nancy-sorry-Vanessa.”

Hutch sighed.

“I wish that I could be certain of that, but I remember that my mother’s campaign against adorptions had started when she was but a little kid. I hadn’t even left for college for God’s sake!”

“Either case it’s not like you could do something.”

“I know, I know.” Hutch stalked past Starsky like a wounded lion. “It doesn’t help that I don’t trust her intended further than I can throw him.”

Now Starsky was getting concerned too.

“Do you fear something like what happened with Nancy Blake?”

“No, nothing like that, but Andrew is oily, very oily. He just finished law school and my father has already offered him a place in his firm.”

Now we are getting somewhere, Starsky smiled inwardly.

“Hutch, you know and I know that most crime lawyers are usually oily… And I don’t think that your father is really going that far compared with the way he thinks.”

“Isn’t he?” Hutch glared at him, the Hutchinson finger poked him firmly on the chest.

“Kathy has only a year left in law school, and has busted her ass since pre-law to get straight A+’s without a compliment from him and you know what my dear father told her when she announced to him the wedding and the rest?”

Oh Yes, we are getting somewhere alright. Starsky kept his face attentive but he didn’t say a word. He knew perfectly well that now that his friend’s had started his tirade there shouldn’t be holding back.

Hutch took a deep breath and continued.

“He told her that she should better hurry home to prepare for the wedding before she started showing and embarrass them, that she was lucky that he approved of Andrew and he would give him a place in his firm and that maybe it was time to brush her social skills to her husband and the firm’s advancement.” He gritted his teeth. “Not a word on her career, not a single word…”

Hutch’ face was beet red and he was panting. Starsky was shocked by the extent of the desperation and the sheer anger on his face. He was also feeling something else but it wasn’t the time… “Hutch,” he tried to say.

But his friend didn’t allow him to stop him. He had started on that matter and he intended to finish, no matter how painful or personal it was.

“We are pawns to him, Starsk, my sister and I, as long as we are of use we have his approval, but try to do something for us that is not in accord with his plans for us and we are out. Our Mother is not much different; her only interests are her committees and the society.”

Starsky bled inside for his partner but he was also humbled. After all those years of friendship they had shared all their secrets and there was hardly a thing like defenses between them but still it was the first time that Hutch spoke that openly of the problems in his family.

Anyway the only thing he could do was to gulp down the pain on his neck and try to help.

“Hutch, it is not going to be like it was with you. Kathy was but a small girl and incapable to help you but you are an adult and not one that dissuades easily…”

“You are right, Starsk, I can try to help her at least on that.” The smile that brightened Hutch’s face was determined and Starsky tried not to shown how he was affected. “I am going to convince him to stop pressuring her. The rest is in her hands.”

Starsky smiled too. “That’s my boy.” He patted Hutch on the shoulder but he kept it fast, instead of his usual lingering. He was trying for light these days.

Hutch after his explosion was feeling a lot better and teased in return.

“You will come with me to the wedding of course.”

Starsky could never resist that tone… “Of course.” He considered something else. “If it is not going to make things more difficult for her…” He knew pretty well that he was hardly the favored guest in the Hutchinson household.

Hutch shook his head, “Kathy likes you, and plans to call you personally tonight. I doubt that my parents will spare a thought in anything except that they finally are marrying her off.” He lowered his eyes. “And I want you there; I doubt that I could stand my father, for the second time this year, alone.”

The tone was even lighter than before but Starsky didn’t make the mistake to take any of this for teasing. He barely managed not to tense. Damn you Richard Hutchinson.

“I like her too, I will be there.”

Hutch looked relieved but tried to hide it by playing it busy. “We will need to hit the mall for a present after work.”

Starsky smiled. “Yeah, a nice one, to make her feel better.”

Hutch smiled too, “Certainly not a toaster, I’ve got three from my wedding with Van and I hated them.”

Abruptly it really hit Starsky. Little Kathy was getting married; everyone was getting married, except them.

Hutch knew him too well not to know the reason of his sudden silence. Suddenly his arm was around Starsky’s shoulders. “This is about Terry.” He whispered. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” Starsky answered anyway.

“Then she was the one?” Hutch questioned tenderly.

Starsky lowered his head. Yes, she was.” He whispered. Hutch didn’t say another word he just held him tighter.

Terry had been indeed the one for Starsky. She was the only woman he cared deeply for, that she was able to handle that he cared for Hutch at least that much and she cared as well.

She had been his only chance to keep both a family that he loved and the friend that he loved. With the only exception of their occasional sexual intimacy, the last would have been a huge sacrifice but it was better than no family.

After Terry’s loss his heart kept whispering to him that Hutch was more than enough for him, that he loved him as he never loved Terry and it took every shred of willpower he possessed not to hold on to Hutch with everything he had and beg him to put aside everyone else and to love him until they died.

Fortunately his logic knew better than that. Even with the miraculous possibility that Hutch felt exactly as he did, the most possible outcome was to lose everything they had: The respect of their coworkers, their Job, their families and in the end each other. Bobby and John, his friends from Vietnam had tried after the war to build a life together and had ended hating each other. Yeah, Starsky knew better than that.

The arm on his shoulder shifted and Starsky realized that he had been lost in silence for too long. He collected himself and looked directly at his friend.

Hutch expression was strange and Starsky must have done a piss-poor work at collecting himself because he popped the least question he ever wanted to utter.

“Was Gillian the one for you?”

Hutch closed his eyes and a small tear wetted his lashes. “Yes, I was so angry after I learned the truth but with time I realized that had we saved her then from Grossman I would have forgiven her eventually and probably would have married her by now. There are days that I would have given almost everything to have her back,” he confessed.

Starsky gulped. He had very mixed feelings for the memory of one Gillian Ingram and the woman herself. On one hand she had been really genuine, especially for a woman of her profession and Starsky had respected her deeply.

There was a strong possibility that if she had lived she would have enriched their lives like Terry had. Perhaps even more so than Terry, as she had been around a lot of blocks and that day she told him ‘You love him too’ had known exactly what she was talking about.

That was the part that Starsky preferred to remember and not his jealousy that her presence was enough to make Hutch shine like the sun. That part he tried to bury as hard as he could, looking only to the future.

When Hutch opened his eyes his expression was such that Starsky felt so loved that he couldn’t control his next words.

“I’m not Gillian but I’m here with you for as long as I live.”

He wanted to hide from shame as he said those words. He was trying so hard to keep things as they were but it seemed that it was bound to change.

“Me too Starsk, I’m here to stay, me and thee.”

Hutch words were nothing more than their motto but the fact that he blushed scarlet as he spoke was proof enough that he meant something more.

Oh yeah, things were changing anyway.

Hutch must be also uncomfortable with the tension in the air because he checked Starsky’s watch looking ready to scold him that he made them late but he was forced to take a second look.

“Goodness Starsk! Why on earth did you come that early?”

Starsky smiled, oh yeah, they were again on solid ground.

“I had a date with Ann yesterday,” he leered. “but as she had an early flight I thought that an hour’s sleep didn’t mean much and decided to bother you instead.”

Hutch mock glared at him and mumbled something like: “Cut it.”

But Starsky was certain that he read real jealousy in his eyes and was shocked at the shudder of pleasure that racked his body with the thought.

Maybe change wasn’t necessary for the worse!

 

Fin


End file.
